We have so many wonderful people in our lives. After losing Matthew, the condolences have come from every corner.
Most people just want to know “How are you doing?” They know the answer is probably never as simple as the one given. The truth is it changes everyday, sometimes several times a day. Here’s a couple common themes.
First, the heavy. We are still grieving for and still missing Matthew. It’s a terrible loss that can’t be explained and words can’t console. It can’t be rationalized in just the right way to make it “ok”. We had a son and he was taken away. Plain and simple.
However, we have now been parents.
Regardless of laws or legal status or parental rights or terms or days. We have experienced the world of parenting and we absolutely love it. In the whole world of things “meant to be” parenting fits right next to our marriage.
Then there is the “what’s next?” We are just starting to get a feel for that now. There are really two paths, each with updates, each deserving their own posts. We are still hoping to adopt. We are considering reaching out to other states for various reasons. (That’s for another post). We are also continuing our journey to natural conception.
In all of this we don’t grieve THEN move on. We grieve AND move on. We miss Matthew but he wasn’t a road bump on the path to building a family. He was our first born. We are not still waiting, we are waiting again.
Thank you again for your prayers and support.